Why Can’t I Get Excited

The struggle is real my friends!

Here’s the thing….I’m finally doing it… I’m finally running Boston…. and for some reason I just can’t get excited!

On Sunday I had a fantastic 20 miler…. I felt fantastic all day yesterday afterwards! I’m just not use to it… again my coach held me back for the first 15 miles and the last 15 miles he let me go! It felt so amazing! And while there were a lot of 8+ min miles it all felt amazing and easy. My issue falls not in my long runs but in my inability to get excited for something that I have wanted for so long.

I have a million pics from this week… but my reality is real… I’m just not that excited… I’m just not that into it….why? why after chasing something for so long? Why can’t I get excited!?

My LONGEST training run EVER!

Well, it’s been a weird weekend and I promise to fill you in on it all in a few days when I’m ready to talk about it… but for now I’m going to tell you about a huge accomplishment… my 19 miler this weekend.  I knew in advance that there would be no way that I would run 19 miles on my own, especially because in my last training cycle the furthest I went was 18, and that was almost of the death of me…. So I emailed my coach and I said no matter what I would be there. I know… I should be at every run, but the fact of the matter is that Albany is really quite a hike from where I live and some days the last thing I want to do on a Sunday morning is get up and go running…. I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t say it but I’m saying it.

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But Sunday morning, regardless of all the things that were against me, I made it to practice without fuel and my watch.  I’m kind of a watch-a-holic on my long runs. Like obsessive checking of the watch. So the minute I figured out that I didn’t have my watch, I went into panic mode. I was already over half way there, so I had to suck it up and keep moving forward….

We did 2 x 9.5 mile hilly loops. I’m not going to lie after the first loop I kinda wanted to crawl in a hole and hibernate.  However, on my second loop I ran with another lady in my group named Cheryl and she pulled me through the next loop.  I don’t know if I can ever thank her enough, but she made me dig to places I didn’t know existed.  We didn’t even run it fast, but the hills were insane… by the end of the run, I felt like my legs were going to detach from my pelvis… I couldn’t believe that I actually made 19 freaking miles.  I felt like hell afterwards but just knowing I did it, showed me how much stronger I am than I thought I was. Next weeks goals:

Don’t forget watch and fuel

Run 21 miles on long run day

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I may do ok at Boston afterall…. I guess only time will tell…

Happy Monday Y’all!

Do you ever feel super nauseous after a long run?

What are some of your goals this week?

Can you believe I was once a sprinter…. 12594…..

Another nutty week…. basically the same as last week….soooo much to do with so little time.  I think I need another month to really prepare for Boston….but Lesbihonest…. it’s coming regardless if I am ready or not.  And you know how I know? Bc this is my reality…

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I have been running just haven’t had much time to write… I swear I need a stand in for me some days… another week of working two doubles and swimming for Ella… leaves very little time to train, but some how I managed to squeeze in an 800 work out yesterday and let me tell you, I was siked. I was suppose to get it done Thursday but Ella’s swim location and my gym are in two completely different towns, therefore it just wasn’t happening. So Friday morning I packed my gym bag, went to work, did 5 hours of parent teacher conferences and then drove myself to the gym.  My typical treadmill was in use (shocking), so I had to hop on a rando in the middle (yes, I had a half panic attack), and I went to town on this work out….

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I’m not going to lie, it looked a bit scary but he put my 5k pace as 645… so it wasn’t horrible…but it’s 800s and that is kinda my love

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The end result…

I did the first 5 at 713 pace

the next 2 at 703

the following one at 654

the last one at 644…and it felt awesome!

I love distance running so much.  I keep saying after next year no more marathons… but than I start thinking about what my life would be like without running…. I would be miserable…. So I have decided that I will let my body dictate when I hang out my running shoes.  I will continue to run marathons until I can’t any more, because I DO love the distance.  It’s hard to believe that I once was a sprinter…. but I needed those short runs, they are what shaped me into the distance runner I am…Happy weekend friends what have you guys been up to….

What is your favorite workout in training?

Do you ever feel like you overbook yourself?

I Need More Hours in a Day or More Days in a Week

My week of running has been a bit pathetic and to be honest I am losing motivation… even motivation wall can’t save me. I think I had an easier time last year because I had races to look forward to and train for…. recently I have only been training for Boston and with it being soooo far away I am getting bored, it must be my ADHD,

Last Sunday I over slept and missed my long run with my group.  I never made it up due to crappy weather.  Monday I worked during the day then picked up a shift at the restaurant, Tuesday I worked during the day and then I came home and made these awesome cupcakes for Brady’s class (yes I’m THAT mom, and no I can’t just buy something premade…#sorrynotsorry).

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cookie monster

Wednesday was another double for me… Thursday I worked all day and then brought Elle to her first swimming lesson.

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Can you tell she loves the water…lol.  She literally cried when we had to leave and she asks me every morning if we are going swimming….

And Friday I finally made it to the gym.  I love my gym…. I walked in and the girl at the counter asked me if I was a marathoner…. I kind of gave her the deer in head lights look because I don’t know if running one marathon makes me an actual marathoner.  So I responded with “kinda”.  Can you kinda be a marathoner? I don’t know maybe that is a good post for another day…lol.  Anywho, she then said that they watch me run for hours on the treadmill and they find it so amazing and that they looked up my age and couldn’t believe that I was 32! I don’t know if it was the confidence boost pre workout but the 5 miles my coach told me to do felt amazing! 3 miles at 8 min pace, 1 mile at 730 pace and 1 mile at 713 pace.

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Today life is crazy again.  There is a kidz expo in albany, we are bringing Brady tubing, and my girlfriend and her hubby want to go snow mobile riding.  I know I should be running right now but I’m FINALLY taking some time to relax.  A five letter word that I know very little about….. I’m hoping that at some point tomorrow I can squeeze in a long run, but than again who knows.  I have a huge observation for work this week and I wasn’t there, so this girl is playing catch up…. Is it too early to start looking forward to summer vacation?!

Back to work+two sick kiddos+marathon training in new awesome socks= falling behind

Ugh… I am back to work and while that thrills me that means falling back into a routine and getting my school and real kiddos back into routine.  In the beginning of the week Ella was sick and at the end Brady was sick… some times with little ones, you just can’t catch a break…. the only silver lining is that I am FINALLY feeling better.

Last Sunday was the best run in a long time.  My coach wanted our splits to be no faster than 8:15 but the sun was shining and I felt amazing…… however, when the sun went down I turned into a frozen pumpkin…. but my coach was till happy and therefore I won’t complain… ok, maybe a little.

My view on Sunday's Run

My view on Sunday’s Run

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somehow I'm still smiling.... somehow.

somehow I’m still smiling…. somehow.

As you know I live in upstate NY and lets be honest, it has not been warm in these parts since like August…lol…. ok… October.  Anyways, I’m miserable if my hands or feet are cold when I’m running.  I solved the hand issue with my Manzalla mittens, but my feet were still freezing.  The half marathon coach in our running group works at Fleet Feet and she suggested these amazing socks…Feetures! I’m literally OBSESSED!!!! Check them out.. they are not cheap but they are amazing!

When I got home, I took my snowy shoes off at the door and this little munchkin decided to do this…

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“I run like mommy?” Hell yes!

I got a few great runs in this week and today as I was dreading yet another hill workout in on the treadmill, I got a bit of inspiration from a friend….

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As I was getting on the treadmill a friend that I went to grad school came up to me and told me how much my fb posts inspires her and how she has lost over 100lbs running! How much running has changed her life and how great she feels! She looks amazing and honestly her genuine words inspired me to keep moving through my workout tonight even though I wanted to desperately give up… the quote above is so fitting… I love what I do. I love to run! I love to blog and if I inspire people along the way than that is awesome.  As I sit here tonight and write this final paragraph I feel so inspired! Her words touched my heart so much that it makes me want to work harder to be better… a better runner, a better blogger, a better person.  I guess you never know the impact of a moment until it’s over…. but let me tell you… today’s moment changed me… Thank you Kerrie!

Have you ever had a moment that changed you?!

What Up Wednesday!

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As you know my race got cancelled this week and I’m still pretty upset about it.  I know I wasn’t very vocal about my goals for this race but I had hopes of hitting 1:30.  Yes, I’m still chasing that goal, but I’m definitely not going to give up.  I’m just going to have to find another race and keep after the prize.  I guess Nicole and I will have to wait until Boston to link up:(

Yesterday, I did a 9 mile tempo and rocked it.  I actually had one of the girls who works at the gym stop me and tell me how amazing and effortless I looked… I soooo needed that and I’m starting to gain back my confidence that I soooo much need.

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Remember my treadmill at my gym shuts down after an hour so I stop it when I am mentally ready instead of it stopping me when I’m in the zone.  This didn’t hurt at all, as a matter of fact… it felt awesome:)

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My little angel had to be picked up from day care yesterday because she was running a fever….AGAIN! So we came home and enjoyed some Farm Heroes and cuddles… ok ok I played Farm Hero and she napped…

Look what I found at Target!!!!

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TimTams are literally one of my favorite cookies ever! I was introduced to them when I was living in London.  A few years later I found them on the shelves in one of our stores never to be seen again until this week! They are pure deliciousness. I can’t even described how amazing they are… but lets just say, I keep them hidden in the kitchen an I do not share.  I’m sorry, I can’t, don’t hate me.  Thank you Target and if you run into these bad boys anywhere… BUY them!

What up on your Wednesday?

What is your favorite packaged cookie?

Sick again and The Race that Never Happened….

I know I have been MIA but I’m still sick… I’m hopeful that I’m on the mend however I thought this before and I was so sick last week that I lost my voice…lol.  So lets just hope that things are looking up for me.  But like most of the northeast we have been pounded with snow and frigid temps so my training that I did squeeze in was spent with my boyfriend the treadmill. However, over the last week I have managed to do a hill workout (on the treadmill) and a few longer NOT long runs.  I am by no means feeling like my old self but after yesterday’s run I’m feeling much better….

FINALLY starting to hit "Tantra Times"

FINALLY starting to hit “Tantra Times”

I have been talking with my girl Nicole over at thegirlwhoraneverywhere and had decided to FINALLY meet up and run a race together.  Apparently, mother nature has other plans and our race was canceled…. I’m sooo disappointed.  It’s hard to stay motivated when temps dip so low and the snow never seems to stop, so this was a fun way to keep moving.  It’s also hard when you have put in so much work for it just to not happen.  I’m not going to lie my training was spotty, but I know Nicole not only put her heart into this cycle but was ready to pop some serious times.  I’ve said it before and Ill say it again… sometimes stars don’t align and sometimes the perfect race doesn’t doesn’t happen, but it’s upsetting when you don’t even have the opportunity to race.

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There will be other races and lucky for me I have plenty of time to really get ready for Boston…. Happy Tuesday (kinda)!

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Have you ever had a race cancelled so close to the run date?

How have you all been!?