I’m back…

I took a mini hiatus after Boston… I was dealing with a lot of things… and to be honest, I’m still dealing with it.

As far as what happened with Michael in Boston…. I have no answers and while yes marriages are a lot of work my question is how much work is too much? This was never a blog about my relationship and I have been saying for a long time I have a lot going on but I’m not ready to discuss.. and I’m still not ready but I will say this: marriage is about compromise BUT when you look in the mirror and don’t recognize the person you see than maybe it’s time to re-evaluate your life… and that is exactly what I’m doing right now.

As far as running I have decided that this summer will be devoted to full on training…. my dad has signed on to help me watch the kids so I can devote the time and energy I need to training and seeing that I am a teacher and get summers off… I will have nothing but time to do so… So I’m going to take full advantage and actually train like I did in college.  I may be linking up with a few awesome local running groups and I’m looking forward to making that happen.

Finally, this is my first week back… Ella and I went to the store and bought her first running sneakers because all she wants to do is “run like mommy”. So she has been my new running partner…. in stroller, but cheers me on every step!

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Tonight, I finally got to run alone and I totally rocked it!’

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pretty nice for a light run… oh my peeps I’m happy to be back and my saga will continue….

anyone running a marathon soon?

I want a better marathon qualifying time!

My Boston Experience and the things that you aren’t suppose to say…

Let me begin by saying that the Boston Marathon is truly an amazing experience…. it definitely was not the perfect race but it definitely tested my heart, soul and body.  We arrived on Saturday and immediately went to pick up my bib and briefly check out the expo.  HOLY PEOPLE… seriously, it was sooo busy I could not believe it! I’m not afraid of crowds but it was insane!

I look like such a geek.... but I was overwhelmed and flustered...lol... at least I can laugh today

I look like such a geek…. but I was overwhelmed and flustered…lol… at least I can laugh today

This was once the furthest I would race.... oh how times have changed!

This was once the furthest I would race…. oh how times have changed!

After we got my bib we rushed to our hotel to check in and get ready for the game at Fenway.  Am I a Boston fan no, but I love watching live sporting events so it was an amazing opportunity….it was a bit chilly and we left around the 6th inning but it was fun none the less….

before shiz hit the fan...

before shiz hit the fan…

This is where I’m going to say what I’m probably no suppose to say but I’m semi ready to talk about it… MIchael and I have been having trouble and while he did come to Boston, it was a question whether he was going to or not leading up to the event. (Yes, stressful).  Saturday night, after the game, we got into a huge fight and he left. I was definitely a hot mess and at one point, actually multiple points I considered coming home, but I have some really amazing friends and they made sure that I didn’t give up my dream…. So Sunday morning I woke up and went and met up with some of my college girls who let me vent, cry and build me up.  We hung out and had a pre race dinner… we hung out for a bit after than I headed back to my hotel to get ready for my race.

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My college girls…. and I predict another reunion next year…

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East Side Bar and Grill… food was fantastic and so was the service

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pre race… no nerves just excitement

Going into this race I had to reevaluate some of my goals. First goal was to finish. Second goals was to re-qualify for Boston. Third PR. I woke up Monday morning in a pool of sweat.  I was coughing like crazy and my nose was leaking like a faucet.  I thought, crap, do I run? I feel like hell! I had only one answer… HELL YES, you are going to run and you will finish. So I got ready, grabbed a box of tissues from the hotel and was on my merry way.  I moved back a few corrals to run with my coach and he kept me in control and on pace for the first half of the race (thank god).  I was just trying to take it all in the first few miles but it was long after the gun went off that the rain started …. and sadly didn’t stop for the rest of the race.

I was running a great race and even seen my girl Nicole around mile 13, but around mile 22 my body started to shut down.  My hands felt like bricks, I could no longer feel my feet and I started feeling fainty.  I had no idea what my time was because the settings on my watch were all messed up but I knew I had a whole bunch of people cheering me on back at home and my number one fan was waiting for me….

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I got this race morning and totally lost it…. When I wanted to give up this was the picture I flashed back to knowing my girl was cheering me on from hundreds of miles away!

I crossed the finish line in 3:31:13… collapsing in some wonderful angel of a volunteers arms.  They immediately put me in a wheel chair and rushed me to the med tent.  They took off as much of my wet stuff as possible and started covering me with the silver blankets, I must have looked like a Thanksgiving turkey.  My temperature dipped down to 92 degrees! It was insane how cold I was and my feet were a lovely shade of smurf blue…I’m honestly shocked that I requalified because there was quite a bit of walking at the end but I’m definitely proud of my accomplishment. I did it, despite my set backs over the weekend.  I’m not only a strong woman, but I am officially Boston Strong.

Boston Strong

Boston Strong

I have been out of commision for a few days… and as sick as it sounds I’m already planning my next marathon… us marathoners are a special breed….

How was your marathon monday! It may be my favorite holiday of the year….

My last 10 miler before Boston

I wish I was sitting here writing about how amazing my last 10 miler felt, and how stoked I am to be running in a few days but this is the reality…. it hurt. Here is were my story began…. 2 wks ago before My SI Half I bought these new shoes that I was in love with.  Race day I put them on… I hated them… I am a stability girl, and as far as these shoes were concerned (while very pretty), they were very unstable and left right ankle with sharp pains… I shook it off.

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My new run was on the treadmill… and before I even left my house to head to the gym… I was limping around my house….I got to the gym and by mile 2, I was feeling better.

Then came Sunday…From the moment I started the run I felt like hell.  I also always have this theory that I feel better if I run the day before a long run or race and I didn’t… so I thought ok, it’s just going to take a few miles.  Well by mile 7 I was limping and by mile 9 I could feel a blister forming on the bottom of my left foot. Needless to say, I finished it, but it was not pretty.

That's a bs smile... I think it's more like I'm happy I'm still alive and not sure how I'm going to run 26.2 miles in a week.

That’s a bs smile… I think it’s more like I’m happy I’m still alive and not sure how I’m going to run 26.2 miles in a week.

I immediately emailed my coach and he told me I had two choices… wear the sneakers I had been training in all along or go get new ones because I still had time to break them in… so… that is what I did tonight.. I went to Fleet Feet and got my new kicks and I’m hoping that they will be the ones that I wear to Boston… if not I will just still to what I have been training in….but they are quite pretty:)

My reality.... ready or not...

My reality…. ready or not…

How are my Boston friends enjoying the taper?

Can anybody recommend a good sushi spot in Boston?

Is there anything that I MUST do?

The 400s That Brought Me Back to Life

It happened… I’m finally excited about Boston! It’s soooo insane what one work out and support from your local community can do for you…. Yesterday we my workout called for 8 x 400. As most of you know that you was once the furthest distance I would race (Oh how things have changed). But it was exactly what I needed to light a spark under my butt and bring me back to life.  It’s crazy for me to think that at one point I could run them in under 60 seconds! And by no means were they even close to that but they felt amazing…..

1:23, 1:24, 1:25, 1;24, 1:27,1:25, 1:24, 1:21….I ran 1.25 miles to the track and 1.25 home….

While I was doing my 400s one of my local running friends was dropping his son off at practice and stopped my the track to wish me good luck.  He told me how amazing it was that I was going and how everyone is routing for me! I thanked him, finished my workout, and ran home.  After I finished my work out, I snapped this pic….

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and posted it on FB and Insta and the comments from my friends, family and people who have followed my track career melted my heart.  It made me realize how far I have come as a runner and what a great opportunity I have.  I love that I have all of you guys to support me and I think that I got so wrapped up in my funk that I forgot that there was a bunch of other people in my world that love me and are cheering me on from our crazy little town.  Thank you everyone for not giving up on me and thank you to my amazing community who has been cheering me on for the last 20 years! Happy Friday everyone!

The Time I Got Knocked on My Ass

Soooo I thought what I needed was a race under my belt to get me ready for Boston… What I got was 24 mph winds that gave me a true dose of reality….

I know, I know….. 24 mph winds aren’t necessarily reality but my problem is that that was my reality on Saturday… I had two speeds: slow and slower and when I finished in 1:36:50… part of me crumbled… I watched girls pass me and there was nothing.  What is that?! How did I feel nothing?! Oh, that’s right…. my battle was not against the other women in the race but the winds that were literally tossing my ass across the boardwalk.

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The bottomline is that we all ran the same race.  We were all in the same conditions…. I…. just came in 5th…. which two weeks from my marathon puts me in a bad mental place…. My coach loves to talk goals… so as of today… these are my unofficial goals…

Goal A: Finish and enjoy the experience

Goal B: Requalify for next year

Goal C: PR

I’m literally terrified…. ugh… not where I hoped to be  2 wks out…

My last long run before Boston and What Up Wednesday

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Why’s is my what up Wednesday but on Thursday and here is what up ….

To say I have been MIA is to say the very least.  I wish I could say I have been gearing up for Boston but the reality of it is that I STILL can’t get excited.  I’m not fake and therefore when I see all of my fellow bloggers getting ready and siked about Boston, I sink further down in my chair…. I have a lot of people cheering me on and everyone keeps telling me that once I get there, the excitement and the crowds will be unforgettable but for some reason… 22 days before the big day I’m having self doubt and wondering how I got here in the first place….I will say that I have completed more long runs and miles than I did last year with my last one being 20 miles and the last  5 at race pace…. my coach wanted me to say between 8:15 and 8:45…..

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Shocking…another freezing morning….. blah

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I’m finally running a race…. I ran it last year.  It’s the Staten Island 13.1.  It’s flat and has potential to be fast but the forcast has been calling for rain and or wind, so I’m just going to go out there and run….whatever happens happens, but I need to get a  race under my belt.



What up on your Thursday?

What are you doing for Easter?



EASTER!

Why Can’t I Get Excited

The struggle is real my friends!

Here’s the thing….I’m finally doing it… I’m finally running Boston…. and for some reason I just can’t get excited!

On Sunday I had a fantastic 20 miler…. I felt fantastic all day yesterday afterwards! I’m just not use to it… again my coach held me back for the first 15 miles and the last 15 miles he let me go! It felt so amazing! And while there were a lot of 8+ min miles it all felt amazing and easy. My issue falls not in my long runs but in my inability to get excited for something that I have wanted for so long.

I have a million pics from this week… but my reality is real… I’m just not that excited… I’m just not that into it….why? why after chasing something for so long? Why can’t I get excited!?